out of sync
hello folks, I’m glad you’re here. it always feels good when there are people listening to you without obligation, you know? In the times when everyone is trying to build community, it feels good that you have your own people (maybe, fanbase) who love reading what you write. I am writing this piece without having any concrete cohesive thoughts, but just with emotions overflowing at the lighting speed. I intend to write this in one sitting, just letting it flow whatever there’s in my head, I expect my grammar will be at a toss in this piece.
If you find lack of substance somewhere, read the blog again after some time, you’ll find substance and cause then.
so let’s hear it, what my mind has to offer you and me.
i’ve found myself lazing in bed at times i should really hustling, i’ve found myself failing to take showers on days, i’ve found myself failing to gain interest in any of the books in my reading piles, i’ve found myself completely losing track of friends & family on their good & bad days — and i’ll say it out loud for everyone at the back, the hustle culture is oversold and it is probably not for everyone. now i might find myself in the same rut probably a week or a month hereon, but i guess we’ve to get the mojo rolling. Everyday of this struggle, you feel like you’re out of sync, you don’t know why or what you’re doing. Without a plan, that makes it all the more worse. But would you always have a plan for life i question? and the answer is easily going to be a no. No one knows what tomorrow is going to be all about.
I’ve been trying to *find* myself in all these endeavours waiting for the zinga! it only makes me sad to realise how hard playing the long-term game is.
Every godamn day I try doing something different for 16 hour day schedule, doing something good at work, or could be on some side hustles part, reading good newspaper/letters. And you know the sad part? i thought hoarding on whiteboards, sticky notes, highlighters or bookmarks might just make it work, but as it obviously had to turn out, i haven’t been able to do it all, in one single day ever since i set out on a goal to. it just get fucked up. sometimes I wake up late, sometime I go to bed late w/o knowing the impact on the next day, sometime i don’t get any sleep at all, sometimes some asshole motherfucker tries ruin the day (sometime that’s me, tho). You know, something happens, and day gets ruined. While i am writing this, I realized to let it go, don’t guilt, don’t regret, dont feel sad, just let it go, and focus on the next day.
i’m extremely grateful for coming through so far. this was me, writing for 22 minutes at stretch without thinking twice. this might be a structureless piece, so i pardon you if it didn’t make sense at all. i just did it, to prove to myself, that i need to practice the art of not giving a damn and let it go!
